


Should Hate You

by sunshinesung



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi is kind of a jerk sorry, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not completed!!!, Oblivious Akaashi Keiji, Oblivious Bokuto Koutarou, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension, Some Fluff, Teasing, before time skip, there will probably be side characters, they’re both meanies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26037820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinesung/pseuds/sunshinesung
Summary: Bokuto was the type of person Akaashi hated. Or, at least, he was supposed to be.So why did he let Bokuto’s teasing go this far? And why couldn’t he stop thinking about him?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 61
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

Bokuto was the type of person Akaashi hated. Or, at least, he was supposed to be. Bokuto always stood just a little bit to close when he was talking, had way too much confidence for one person, and was seemingly good at everything he tried. Sure, that might sound nice to some people, but that wasn’t Akaashi’s type at all.

Akaashi spent a majority of his time in highschool developing an ideal type. The thought of having a specific type was originally revolting to him (because who could really tell exactly what they wanted until they had it) but after the third or fourth time his friends asked he decided to consider things he liked.

Akaashi was able to break it down to a few simple things. He liked guys who wore glasses and played piano. He was more attracted to shorter guys than taller guys. He didn’t like guys who spoke too much about things they really didn’t understand. And quite frankly, he didn’t like stupid people. 

But Akaashi was kind of vain and didn’t want them to be smarter than him either. He would argue that it was because he liked feeling in control and ahead of others, but it actually just stroked his rather large ego.

Alaashi liked having a type after he created one. It helped him focus on what wanted and helped him eliminate nearly any male that came his way. He wasn’t one for long term relationships either but definitely didn’t mind the attention, so having a reason to turn people down was nice. 

Then Bokuto came and crushed this resolve as soon as it was developed. It wasn’t like Bokuto asked Akaashi out or was making anything difficult. He was just annoying as hell and sometimes made Akaashi’s heart flutter.

Like when they would practice after school and Bokuto would stand way too far in his personal space. Or when Bokuto would talk too loud and chew with his mouth open without even realizing it because he was too excited. It especially made Akaashi’s heart flutter when he would stare into his eyes as if he knew something Akaashi didn’t. 

These were all things Akaashi would hate in a person. Should hate in a person. But Bokuto made him feel so flustered all the time. It almost made him hate him even more. Akaashi disliked Bokuto from the moment they met, especially when he found out everyone liked him for seemingly no reason, but now he felt things himself.

Akaashi didn’t want to call it a crush, but he acted like a damn fool around Bokuto and found him undeniably attractive. It was so stupid of him. Bokuto had better grades, was better on the court, and made friends easier. He was nice to everyone where Akaashi was cold. He made people like him with his personality where Akaashi only had his looks. Akaashi really hated him.

But maybe that was just because he was jealous.

The feelings were returned though, Bokuto never liked Akaashi either. Not because of any stupid reasons like Akaashi but because he could never back down from a competition. Akaashi made everything seem like a competition to Bokuto, and he loved winning.

If there was a test, Bokuto would boast loudly about his score just to see the look on Akaashi’s face. On the court he made sure to show off just a little more than usual if Akaashi was there. If this was because he thought Akaashi looked pretty when he was angry, that was nobody’s business but his.

Bokuto honestly loved getting on Akaashi’s nerves. He wasn’t oblivious like Akaashi thought he was. He knew Akaashi liked personal space and hated people who spoke too much. That much was just obvious. So he took it upon himself to talk louder and stand closer. He swore Akashi blushed a few times.

It was times like now that really got on Akaashi’s nerves. 

They had a few mutual friends. Scratch that, they practically had the exact same friends. This meant hanging out with groups but blatantly ignoring each other at all costs. Their friends thought they were just petty and childlike, but it was war to them.

When they were alone, that mutual agreement flew out the window. At least on Bokuto’s side. Akaashi would’ve liked it if they could just go on like normal and pretend the other didn’t exist, but Bokuto was a little piece of shit and loved teasing him. 

They were alone in the locker room after practice now and Akaashi was busy minding his own business. Bokuto came up behind him, approaching slowly with heavy steps.

“What do you want,” Alaashi mumbled. He was flipping his shirt back the right way so he could put it back on.

Behind him, Bokuto smirked. Akaashi didn’t have to turn around to know. 

“That’s not a very nice way to say hello. But that’s okay, ‘Kashi, I like when you act cold.” Bokuto was still had nothing but a towel on. His locker was on the other side of the room though, so Akaashi was a little confused. 

Akaashi quickly slipped his shirt on. He only realized how close Bokuto was when he accidentally nudged him with his elbow. He quickly grabbed his bag and shut his locker before turning around. “Seriously,” Akaashi said with a little more force, “what do you want?”

“Well, whatever I want, I don’t think you’re offering right now,” Bokuto replied, hooking a finger under his chin so their eyes could meet, “unless... you’re offering.”

Akaashi had to look up just slightly to meet Bokuto’s eyes because of how tall Bokuto was and how close they were (which pissed him off). 

Akaashi adverted his eyes almost immediately, swatting Bokuto’s hand away. “Fuck off. Find someone else, pervert.”

Bokuto smiled, sickeningly sweet before he spoke. “You look cute when you act cold but you look best like this. Below me.”

Bokuto didn’t even have time to think before he was pushed flat to his ass on the floor. Akaashi’s lips were pursed in a thin line, almost like a pout, and his face was a bright striking red. He looked like a child.

“Just stop, Bokuto,” Akaashi said after a painful moment of silence “I’m not in the mood for your games.” He had nothing better to say and it was the truth. He had been worried about a test all day that he had forgotten about and needed to go home and study for.

What made it worse was that Akaashi could bet Bokuto didn’t care about the test at all but would still score better. It just wasn’t fair.

Bokuto let out a sigh, and Akaashi for once thought Bokuto knew he was going too far. But of course Bokuto never knew when to shut up. 

“I guess if you want me down here instead that’s fine. Wanna feel in control?” Bokuto suggested, but it was clear he was still the one making all of the moves. He looked at Akaashi like he was little and it made Akaashi’s blood boil. Just what the fuck did he want?

It was true though, Akaashi needed to feel in control. He was prone to get overwhelmed easy when he didn’t know exactly what was going on and Bokuto was a wild card. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

Akaashi brought a hand up to grip Bokuto’s hair, tugging hard. His teeth were clenching and his fist was closed by his side. He was so close to snapping, but then he remembered his test and the anxiety was back ten fold. 

He let go of Bokuto’s hair, letting out a sigh. He could see the excitement leave Bokuto’s eyes that he hadn’t even realized was there before. He must’ve thought things were going according to plan, whatever that plan may be.

Akaashi didn’t know why Bokuto insisted on flirting with him. He was used to teasing, but this was probably the furthest it had gone. Akaashi might even think Bokuto wanted it if the look in his eyes told him anything.

He scoffed before walking out of the locker room, leaving Bokuto there on the floor. 

Bokuto sat there for a few short minutes before he got up and finally put his clothes on. He wasn’t really happy with the way Akaashi reacted, like he really didn’t have time for him. He could’ve swore he was finally getting into it, but he couldn’t force him. 

Then Bokuto realized what he just did.

Why did he say those things? Did Akaashi think he was into him now? And why would he care if he did? He obviously wasn’t. Though, the biggest question in his head was why he wanted Akaashi to keep going. 

Bokuto decided to erase all of those thoughts from his head and get the hell out of the locker room. 

At home, Akaashi was thinking of similar things. The test was enough to make him leave the locker room, but then he could only think of what happened when he tried studying. Stupid Bokuto.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night, all Akaashi could think about was Bokuto’s lips. And his eyes. And his waist, and his fingers, and his neck. And all the places he wanted to kiss.

Akaashi failed the test. 

Well, okay, he didn’t technically fail it, but in his mind he completely flunked. Akaashi never got C’s. The score on the top of his paper was loud and angry, like his teacher scribbled it down in disappointment.

He knew his teacher didn’t actually give a shit about their students much less him in particular, but he liked to feel special. Like maybe his teachers recognized the effort he put in and appreciated how quiet he was during lectures. He was actually just forgettable.

Bokuto, who was unfortunately in that same class, didn’t falter for a second just as expected. He was telling his friend how easy this test was while peering over his shoulder at Akaashi. That was the final push that sent him over the edge. 

Akaashi couldn’t take this anymore. He didn’t care about being the top of his class as much as he let on but he knew his parents would be pissed about the C. And here Bokuto was bragging about a grade he didn’t study a second for. He never worked for anything. 

Akaashi flew out of his seat to the teachers desk, excusing himself to the restroom. When he packed up his stuff and took his bag with him, his teacher didn’t bother to ask. Wasn’t in his interest what Akaashi—a seemingly flawless student—was up to.

It was in Bokuto’s interest however. He raised an eyebrow as his gaze followed Akaashi across the room and out. 

Inside the bathroom (because he couldn’t lie to a teacher and didn’t know where else to go) Akaashi broke down. The week had been stressful enough with tons of useless work and long essays, but now his mind always chose Bokuto to think about. 

This is why he had a type. To find little things about a person to nitpick until he despised them. To forget about them until mr. perfect came around (and mr. perfect could never exist, that was the whole point). Still, Akaashi’s mind was filled with Bokuto, Bokuto, Bokuto. It was pathetic.

Akaashi had never had a crush before. Not one that he didn’t choose himself. He let his mind pick people to pursue, not his heart. This was the first time ever that his stupid emotions were winning the battle.

He just wished he could flip the switch off. End his developing feelings for Bokuto now before he got hurt. And he was already hurting. At least, his grades were.

Akaashi tried to breathe in and out, willing his chest to stop beating and his head to stop hurting.

He counted to 8. Inhale. 8 again. Exhale.

It helped him a little bit, but it didn’t get rid of the tears pooling in his eyes. They threatened to fall, but never did. 

Eventually the tears went away and he threw his bag on the floor, sitting down next to it against the wall. Pulling his knees to his chest always helped his blood flow. He was so used to calming himself down from whatever these moments were. 

He briefly thought of how pathetic he must look getting so worked up over a bad grade and a stupid crush.

Just then Akaashi heard the door opening.

“Wow, you look like shit,” Bokuto announced as he walked in, hands in his pockets.

Akaashi looked up at him, then back to the floor. Maybe if he just ignored him.

Bokuto didn’t like being ignored though, especially by a certain pretty black haired boy. “Akaashi, it’s polite to speak back when you’re spoken too. Come on, be a good boy for me. Or do you only suck up to teachers?” 

Akaashi stood up, grabbing his bag. He wasn’t going to take this from Bokuto right now. He clearly followed Akaashi into the bathroom just to pick a fight, but there weren’t even people to see. It was pointless to Akaashi, why did Bokuto want to get him riled up so badly? He started towards the door.

Bokuto was quick to move, blocking his exit. 

“Move.” Akaashi bit out. “Ask me nicely, and maybe I will,” Bokuto responded with a frightening glint to his eyes.

Akaashi just let out a sigh, revisiting his question from yesterday. “What do you want? Seriously, Bokuto, I don’t understand. I haven’t even been bothering you lately but you won’t fucking leave me alone. I’m tired.”

Bokuto could tell Akaashi was really exhausted. Mentally and physically it seemed. His eyes were red (was he crying?) and his shoulders were slouching more than usual. He looked like he needed to catch up on a years worth of sleep.

But it would be totally out of character for Bokuto to stop now. And Akaashi hadn’t asked him to stop, technically, he was just asking why. Bokuto didn’t want to stop.

“I told you what I want, but I guess you didn’t listen. Do I need to repeat myself?”

Akaashi just closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, clenching his fists around his backpack straps. “Would that make you stop?”

Bokuto’s eyes widened. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know, Bokuto, you tell me.” The way Akaashi said his name was venomous and filled with hatred. How could anyone believe Bokuto was such a genuine and nice guy when the one in front of him was pure evil. “Is one time going to be enough for you? If I get down on my knees right now will you leave me alone?”

To say Bokuto was taken aback would be an understatement. But he was also terrified. This wasn’t the response he expected out of Akaashi. Akaashi always had something sharp and witty to say, not complacent.

“Very funny ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto said, pretending he wasn’t still completely shocked and a little turned on, “just drop the mopey attitude before practice, I can’t have you screwing up our sets.”

Bokuto left before Akaashi, trying to hide the pink tint to his cheeks back in class. When things had settled back down, he was back to his normal self. Telling his friends a funny story about something he remembered that was ‘literally the funniest thing you’ll ever hear.’ 

He easily captured everyone’s attention with his boisterous story telling, but now there was nobody to glance over at to catch glaring at him for talking too loud. 

It made him think about why this all started.

Despite Akaashi’s opinion, Bokuto was known to be a pretty great guy. Yeah his grades were good and his teachers liked him, but he also had something naturally captivating about him. He was always spotted in a crowd with his silver dyed hair, and his smile was absolutely blinding.

Unlike Akaashi, Bokuto had dated a lot of people. A lot a lot of people. Just like Akaashi, Bokuto thrived on the validation of others but also liked being in relationships. They just never worked out.

Bokuto never teased the people he liked or made fun of them. He was nice and liked to compliment others. Why he was so mean to Akaashi was kind of beyond his knowledge, but he didn’t want to stop.

He felt bad for earlier and the day before, but usually his teasing involved less flirting and went both ways. It was just Akaashi’s fault. Yeah. He was the one acting weird.

Bokuto had always subtly flirted with Akaashi, but not like this, not in a rude over sexual way. But whenever he tried to actually flirt or be nice Akaashi just took it as sarcasm and came back with some fiery insult of his own. 

Bokuto also wasn’t stupid. He had heard the rumors that Akaashi turned down anyone who tried to make a move. And Bokuto wanted to keep talking to him and keep seeing him, so this started. 

Akaashi never backed down from a fight, so Bokuto gave him one. Thus, they had a reason to talk.

Bokuto knew deep down it was shitty and that Akaashi was getting tired of it, but he didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t like he could just suddenly be his friend now (he could, he was just scared).

After practice, they were alone again.

The last time they met in the locker rooms like this was purely coincidence, but this time Bokuto made a point to wait around. 

Bokuto had already showered and was fully clothed this time. Akaashi was the one left in a towel.

Bokuto sat down loudly on the bench behind Akaashi, making his presence known. 

Akaashi whipped his head around before mumbling a quick “why are you still here?”

“Well in case you forgot, this isn’t a private room.” Bokuto cocked his head to the side, inviting a comeback. Welcoming any jab coming his way. 

“What, do you want to see me change that badly? Not a chance in hell.”

There it was. Akaashi’s fire was back.

Bokuto grinned as per usual, but it was a little bit too close to a smile to be considered threatening. 

It was partially true. Akaashi had lightened up a little, but that was because he enjoyed practice. It actually went well despite the rest of his day being so absolutely shit. And Konoha had convinced him that his parents wouldn’t be mad if he just told them he was having a hard time.

So Akaashi had lightened up, but that didn’t make him want to be around Bokuto any more than he had to be.

It was then that Bokuto suddenly remembered Akaashi’s offer. He stood up from the bench.

“Come here, ‘Kaashi.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why the fuck would I?”

Bokuto frowned before taking the steps forward himself. Ruining the safe distance between them and effectively invading Akaashi’s personal space. 

“Bokuto, get back and let me get dress-“

“You were right.” Bokuto cut Akaashi off with a serious voice. The look on his face was serious too but with a mischievous glint. “It wouldn’t be enough.”

Akaashi froze, hoping that didn’t mean what he thought it did. “What do you mean?” He asked.

“You know exactly what I mean. One time wouldn’t be enough, you were right” Bokuto replied, looking Akaashi up and down.

“Whatever, I wouldn’t let you touch me anywa-“

Bokuto cut him off again, grabbing his wrist in a loose grip. “Kiss me, and I’ll consider leaving you alone for a little while.” 

At this, Akaashi’s face turned bright red almost instantly (as if it wasn’t already). To Akaashi, kissing was more intimate. It wasn’t supposed to be between two people who hate each other.

Akaashi ripped his wrist away from Bokuto. “You hate me Bokuto. You’re just playing with me and I don’t want anything to do with it. I hate you too in case you forgot.”

“So play with me,” Bokuto said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His voice came out as a teasing whine.

Akaashi grabbed his clothes and slammed his locker shut, leaving quickly for the bathroom. He locked himself inside and willed his heart to calm down. It was beating faster than he thought possible.

Why did he want to kiss Bokuto so badly?

Once he had changed, he left the bathroom and peaked around to check if Bokuto was gone. Luckily, he was and Akaashi was able to go home with no further tormenting.

That night, all Akaashi could think about was Bokuto’s lips. And his eyes. And his waist, and his fingers, and his neck. And all the places he wanted to kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things heated up... oops. 
> 
> I wanted there to be more time before anything actually happens but they got close hehe! Silly Bokuto just wants a kissy.
> 
> Also this chapter was longer, yaayy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After things had calmed down and nobody was paying attention to Akaashi anymore, he called out for Bokuto, drawing the attention back. “Can you get me a drink, Koutarou?”
> 
> Apparently calling Bokuto by his first name was enough to make him choke on his own drink. Akaashi noted that for later.

About a week had passed since Bokuto asked Akaashi to kiss him, but it was still fresh in both of their minds.

School started to pick up pace again and they were both busy. Which meant less bantering from both of them and less harassment from Bokuto. This let Akaashi breathe easy for a little while, but he always kept an eye open.

After practice Akaashi started leaving as quickly as possible, telling the others that he had to hurry home. Everyone bought it but Bokuto, who was honestly quite offended. Why would he ignore him?

Of course, Akaashi couldn’t ignore him forever.

Akaashi thought he was safe when they were hanging out with their mutual friends. They always ignored each other and the party he was at now shouldn’t have been any different.

Except it was, and apparently Bokuto didn’t like that agreement anymore. He didn’t ignore Akaashi.

They were both at a party some of their teammates invited them to. There were other teams there too, which was pretty common, but there really weren’t too too many people. There were about three separate groups all doing their own thing.

One group was in the kitchen. They were talking about school and teachers and just anything that was bothering them. It seemed more like a support group to Akaashi and he didn’t feel like opening up, so he left.

Another group was all sitting on the floor in the living room. Why on the floor? Akaashi wasn’t sure. There was a perfectly good couch behind them and they kept mumbling something about a ‘floor party.’ He was pretty sure they were high so he left there too.

The last group he found was in some kind of gaming room. There was only a tv and a couch in there but there were people sitting everywhere. It was crowded and loud. Akaashi didn’t feel like playing smash bros anyways.

After leaving the last group, Akaashi decided to just go back to the kitchen. At least he knew a few people there. He didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to.

Except, once he got there, he realized Bokuto was there too. Akaashi didn’t know if he missed him earlier or if he just got there late, but the people he knew were already greeting him and pulling him into the group. 

Bokuto greeted him too, which was odd, but it must’ve been because they weren’t alone. He still had to act like mr. nice guy. It made Akaashi feel sick, but he offered a quick “hello” in return.

The group was talking about volleyball now, so Akaashi felt pretty at ease. Whatever deep stuff they were talking about earlier was gone from their minds. Not like he had to talk anyways, he could just listen. 

A voice suddenly called him to the conversation, shattering that revelation. 

“‘Kaashi is our setter. He’s the best, right?”

Akaashi realized it was Bokuto talking to him. Now everyone was facing him because of the praise. Why was Bokuto even praising him? It made his heart beat just slightly faster.

“Uh, I’m,” he was left gaping like a fish. He never took compliments well. Akaashi looked around again before shrugging. “I’m okay. Bokuto’s the star here.”

Diverting the attention from himself was the only thing he could think to do, even if it meant complimenting Bokuto. He looked down at the floor, hoping that the attention was gone.

Bokuto laughed at that and received a few pats on the back. It was true, Bokuto was the star of them team, everyone there knew that. Akaashi was just stating something obvious, but Bokuto couldn’t let him go that easy.

“Wow. Did the heartless Akaashi just compliment me?” Bokuto smirked, raising an eyebrow. Akaashi just rolled his eyes. 

There were a few snickers and some howling but Akaashi was easily able to ignore it. He was used to this kind of teasing. A lot of people called him a prude even but that wasn’t necessarily true. He just wasn’t interested in any of these people.

Still, they thought Bokuto’s teasing was hilarious.

Akaashi thought of a plan. If Bokuto wasn’t ignoring him anymore, why should he? He could flirt. Akaashi was fully capable of flirting (even though he sucked at it). 

After things had calmed down and nobody was paying attention to Akaashi anymore, he called out for Bokuto, drawing the attention back. “Can you get me a drink, Koutarou?”

Apparently calling Bokuto by his first name was enough to make him choke on his own drink. Akaashi noted that for later.

“Uh, yeah? Sure?” Bokuto replied, giving him a strange look. One that said ‘what the fuck, bro?’

Akaashi just leaned back against the counter, waiting. When Bokuto handed him the drink he didn’t even offer a ‘thank you.’

Instead, he let out a sigh. He wanted to leave. Before he left though, he accidentally made eye contact with Bokuto who was blatantly staring at him. He wasn’t even attempting to hide it. 

Akaashi stared back. He wasn’t going to back down. Akaashi raised his eyebrows, daring him to do something about it. Bokuto just looked away nervously.

This was interesting.

Akaashi left the kitchen and found his way to an empty room. There he was able to think clearly while also clearing his mind. Being around so many people made him feel a little overwhelmed and he couldn’t think straight. It was a miracle he was able to pull that little stunt.

The door creaked open and Bokuto shuffled in quietly. He closed the door behind him, staring at Akaashi with a hint of shock left over from what just happened.

Akaashi stood up suddenly, setting his drink down. He honestly didn’t expect Bokuto to be such an idiot and follow him. Now the group had seen Bokuto leave after Akaashi. Alone.

“Is there something on my face?” Akaashi asked, ignoring the obvious.

Bokuto didn’t do anything. He didn’t even say anything back. His eyes were busy raking Akaashi’s body, taking in every little detail. 

Akaashi tried to think of a way out. It would be a little difficult convincing Bokuto to move from in front of the door, but he also had to think of if he wanted him to move or not. Their little cat and mouse game was fun when he had nothing else to do.

He still liked Bokuto’s overbearing presence even if he hated the things that came out of his loud mouth. He still found Bokuto attractive even if he hated him so much.

It kind of dawned on Akaashi that maybe this was purely physical. He clearly didn’t like anything about Bokuto other than when their bodies were too close for him to feel comfortable. He felt small around Bokuto but his own body liked the feeling, he couldn’t deny that.

Akaashi took a few steps forward, trying to crowd Bokuto’s space like the taller male would do to him. 

“Stop.” Bokuto said.

“Why?”

“Because... you just shouldn’t do whatever you’re thinking about doing.”

Akaashi scoffed. “And what exactly do you think I’m doing?”

Bokuto kept the eye contact as he spoke. He was never bashful anyways. “I think you’re about to put your hands on me.”

Akaashi did just that. As soon as Bokuto spoke, Akaashi stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck. He didn’t know when he planned on stopping, but not yet.

“What else?” Akaashi asked again, his voice soft.

“What else? Fuck, ‘Kaashi.” Bokuto sounded like the wind was knocked out of him. He clenched his fists by his sides, willing himself to stay still. He wanted this so badly. “You’re going to...” he trailed off, thinking about what his deepest desires wanted Akaashi to do. If he said the word, it looked like Akaashi might just do it.

Akaashi hummed in question. He reached a hand up to tangle in Bokuto’s hair, playing idly with the long dyed strands. “Hm? You want me to pull your hair again?” He asked.

Bokuto took a deep breath. “Kiss me.”

It was like the spell was broken. Akaashi dropped his arms, taking a step away from Bokuto. He couldn’t kiss him. Why did Bokuto want to kiss him so badly? He had just offered him anything—everything—and he still just wanted a kiss.

Akaashi went back to sit down. He clicked his tongue, shaking his head at Bokuto. “You’re stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”

Bokuto’s face looked surprisingly hurt. Why was Akaashi so repulsed by kissing him? “Akaashi, I’m serious.”

“No you’re not. I told you to stop playing with me. Whatever...”

“Don’t tell me what to do. You think you know everything about everyone just because you’re smart but you know nothing.” Bokuto was angry now. He couldn’t stop the words from flying out.

Akaashi was surprised by the outburst, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Bokuto was just toying with him and he didn’t want to fall for it. He took a sip from his drink, crossing his legs. His body language was closed off and hostile.

Bokuto continued when Akaashi stayed silent. “You only hurt people. I don’t know why you hate me so much. Sure, I make you uncomfortable sometimes but I’m not the one who goes around messing with peoples feelings.”

Akaashi set his drink down, crossing his arms in front of him. His eyebrows were furrowed and his glare was sharp. “I don’t mess with people’s feelings,” he took a moment to think, wondering what Bokuto was even going on about. “What do you mean?”

Bokuto was quick to respond. He stepped closer, looking down at Akaashi with the same anger. “You think I don’t notice? You just manipulate people-“

“No I fucking don’t. You’re really going crazy, Bokuto, I’m concerned for you.”

“You lead people on because you like the attention and then turn them down with such a practiced ease it’s actually sickening. And you fucking thrive on it!” Bokuto was almost yelling now.

Akaashi felt a tug in his chest. It hurt to hear this out loud, but he didn’t have to admit it. What did Bokuto know? And why was he bringing it up now?

“Why does it matter to you?” Akaashi asked. His voice was a little quieter now, but he wasn’t admitting defeat.

Bokuto sighed, feeling like the hole argument was pointless and going nowhere. Why does it matter to him? “I don’t know. I just wish you would stop making me out to be the bad guy. I haven’t ever done anything to your personally.”

Akaashi kind of felt for Bokuto now, but he still didn’t like him. His own pettiness and insecurities wouldn’t let him see the nice person in front of him. “Look,” he glanced up to meet Bokuto’s gaze, “we’ve known each other for—what—a year now?”

“Three.” Bokuto said without hesitating. “We’ve had the same classes together for three years.”

Akaashi must’ve not noticed because he swore they just met this year. 

Akaashi cleared his throat. “Oh... right, three years. Jesus, whatever, that’s besides the point. What I’m trying to say here is that for the time I’ve known you, you have done nothing but get on my nerves. You always rub things in my face, you talk too loud, and you never listen to me.”

Bokuto’s shoulders dropped. He kind of resembled a kicked puppy now. Akaashi almost wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was alright, he was overreacting. But thinking of the things Bokuto did in the past few weeks just made his blood boil.

“Well you’re no saint either,” Bokuto burst out in his own angry response, “you treat anybody who’s nice to you like shit. I’ve tried being nice to you in case you forgot.”

Akaashi didn’t forget. He could remember when they first met, way back before the teasing started. Bokuto was nice to him. Overly so and it got on his nerves. He seemed so fake it was painful.

Then the teasing started. And the crowding into personal space, and the snarky remarks. Akaashi thought these much be his true colors. But now he was seeing slivers of a completely different side all together.

Akaashi couldn’t figure Bokuto out and it was driving him crazy. People were easy to read. They were easy to ‘manipulate’ like Bokuto accused him of. He didn’t think he was trying to hurt people, he just liked the chase. He liked feeling desired.

Bokuto made him feel that way, but it was different. His eyes were hungry and definitely made him feel lusted after, but Bokuto wasn’t one you could easily walk over. That much was obvious.

Akaashi still thought in his mind that Bokuto just wanted to see his down fall. And he had to protect himself. 

Akaashi pinched the bride of his nose in frustration. He then threw both of his hands up in defeat. “Believe what ever you want. I’m not wasting my time here,” he said before taking his leave.

But Bokuto closed the door as soon as Akaashi opened it.

He caged him in with one arm on either side of his head. Akaashi’s back was pressed against the door in an attempt to keep some distance. His heart was practically beating out of his chest.

“I’ll ask one more time. If you say no, then I’ll leave you alone,” Bokuto glanced down to Akaashi’s lips, “but I don’t think I believe you don’t want this.”

Akaashi averted his eyes. He pressed his palms flat against the door, lowering his head. He wanted it. He wanted this. 

But he couldn’t let Bokuto win.

“Kiss me,” Bokuto asked desperately.

Akaashi looked up. Their eyes met. But the distrusting, hateful look was still in Akaashi’s eyes. Bokuto should’ve known.

Akaashi leaned forward. 

Bokuto followed, feeling his own heart rate increase. Would it really happen? He needed it.

Their eyes were searching one another’s. Looking for a signal. A sign that this was happening.

Akaashi’s lips parted and he tilted his head. 

Bokuto’s lips searched for Akaashi’s, longing.

But he was just falling into Akaashi’s trap.

Akaashi pulled away with a smirk and Bokuto was left with nothing.

He should’ve known.

“No.” Akaashi’s voice was firm. Steadier than he expected it to be. 

Was this what Bokuto was talking about? Was this the practiced ease he had when rejecting people?

Bokuto’s arms dropped from where they kept Akaashi in place. His eyes stayed on the floor and he didn’t bother to look back up. Not even as Akaashi left. 

The sound of the air conditioning and the party continuing on downstairs was the only thing left to keep Bokuto company.

When Akaashi left the party, nobody asked why. They weren’t surprised.

At home, Akaashi played the scenes over and over in his head. A fantasy of sorts. He imagined that he did kiss Bokuto. That there was passion and feelings and skin against skin.

But there wasn’t. And Akaashi couldn’t trust someone like Bokuto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one kinda hurted :’)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto felt like he was being used, but he knew he didn’t have the strength to say no. He could probably never say no to Akaashi.

During the weekend, Akaashi spent his time recovering. 

He had this great realization while he was at the party that his attraction to Bokuto was purely physical. And it honestly made him feel a lot better. Like he was more in control of these feelings.

Knowing that he didn’t actually like Bokuto felt good. He didn’t care for him, he just thought he looked good. His body reacted around him and he wanted to touch him.

But the thought of going on dates was repulsive.

That’s what Akaashi told himself. But it wasn’t completely true.

If Akaashi didn’t care so much about what people thought about him, he probably wouldn’t mind the thought of dating Bokuto. 

He did want to hold his hand and play with his hair. He wanted to know what it felt like to be held close to Bokuto’s chest in a hug. He wanted to be the only person in Bokuto’s eyes.

But he didn’t want to date him. That was different.

Dating Bokuto would probably be the most nauseating thing ever. Akaashi had seen how Bokuto acted in relationships. 

Bokuto liked to spoil the people he was dating. He was over attentive, way too clingy, and didn’t know when to give people space. Or at least that was what Akaashi heard from a friend of a friend.

After the weekend was over and Akaashi went back to school, he was honestly kind of surprised to see Bokuto acting like everything was normal.

Not that it bothered Akaashi.

Days went on like this. There was no talking. No meeting alone in the locker rooms. Bokuto was friendly on the court and wasn’t as loud in class. That was the only difference.

He was still loud of course, just not with his bragging. The fire in Akaashi started to go out. He realized what Bokuto was doing.

But why would he change for him?

Akaashi wasn’t trying to change anyone. He didn’t need anyone to change themselves for him. Especially not Bokuto who had always been so unapologetically himself. It was a sight for sore eyes.

Nobody seemed to notice Bokuto stopped bragging, but it was so obvious to Akaashi. He had been so hyper focused on Bokuto for so long that it would he impossible to miss. But it didn’t settle right with Akaashi. He didn’t ask for this.

When he found the right opportunity, he struck.

After practice, Akaashi waited. He waited for Bokuto for once instead of the other way around. He didn’t rush out like he had gotten used to lately and instead took his time.

When just Bokuto was left, he went in for the attack.

“What’s wrong with you lately?” Akaashi asked, sitting down on the bench behind Bokuto. It almost felt like deja vu but something was very very different.

Bokuto turned around. The towel thrown lazily over his head fell to the floor. He picked it up hesitantly, eyeing Akaashi curiously. “Nothing? I think.” He responded.

“Why are you changing?” Akaashi accused.

It took Bokuto a second to realize what Akaashi was asking but then it came to him. Akaashi was asking why he stopped bothering him. Why he stopped bragging and flirting with him. He was honestly disappointed in him.

“I haven’t changed at all. If anything, I’m back to normal. I only did those things to get your attention but I told you I would stop. And I like to keep my promises.” Bokuto turned back to his locker. He didn’t want to look at Akaashi. It honestly still hurt.

Akaashi was livid but he couldn’t tell why. So Bokuto was just going to ignore him now? He was just going to pretend Akaashi didn’t exist? 

Someone else entered the locker room. Both of their heads whipped towards the door, as if they were caught doing something they shouldn’t be.

In Akaashi’s opinion, talking go Bokuto was something he shouldn’t do. But here he was, seeking him out.

Konoha smirked at the two of them. He had seen the two of them at the party last night leaving to some room together and now there were here. Alone. “Are you two hooking up or something? You know coach wouldn’t like that-“

Before Konoha could even finish his sentence the two were speaking in unison.

“Why the fuck would you think that-“

“No we’re not-“

They both turned to look at each other. Akaashi then looked at the floor, willing the blush in his cheeks to go away.

“Whatever you guys say,” Konoha declared before grabbing his bag on the bench beside Akaashi and taking his leave. Akaashi hadn’t even realized it was there.

Bokuto knew he shouldn’t say anything. He complained to his friend all night about what had been happening with Akaashi and his friend told him to forget about him. And he should. But he still wanted so much more and he had a million unanswered questions. One stood out more than the others.

Bokuto slammed his locker shut, turning to face Akaashi (who looked a little shocked at the sudden out burst). 

“Why are you willing to do anything but kiss me? What is stopping you from kissing me? Of everything why that?” The questions poured out of Bokuto like lava. Fiery, red, and dangerous.

Akaashi looked up to meet Bokuto’s eyes, assessing the situation. He could tell Bokuto wasn’t going to accept just any answer. “I don’t want to. I have my limits.”

“But it’s just a kiss. You would rather suck my dick than kiss me and I don’t understand it. It makes absolutely no fucking sense Akaashi.”

Akaashi was starting to miss the nicknames. He felt very sad suddenly. Nothing was going right and he felt cornered. “It’s fucking personal Bokuto! I just don’t want to.”

Bokuto rolled his eyes. “Tell me the truth.”

“I don’t owe you anything.”

“You’re a fucking coward!”

Akaashi let out a noise very close to a choked sob. His eyes were tearing up and he felt pathetic. He always cried when he was angry or being yelled at. Now was no different and both were happening. He looked away.

“I don’t want to kiss you because kissing... should be special. And you’re not special to me at all,” Akaashi muttered. Why was he sharing this?

Bokuto was silent for a moment. He walked close to Akaashi. “I’m not special?” He asked.

Akaashi shook his head no.

Bokuto narrowed his eyes at Akaashi, thinking.

“You’re never kissed anybody,” Bokuto mumbled, almost to himself.

Akaashi bit his bottom lip, suppressing a noise. “So what?” He then responded.

Bokuto didn’t fully believe the words when they came out of his mouth, but Akaashi just confirmed it. Bokuto knew Akaashi had slept around with a few people. He dated a few people here and there before finding something wrong with them and ending it. Everyone knew this. But this was completely new.

Akaashi never let any of his past boyfriends kiss him. If they tried, he would simply stop them, and they wouldn’t dare ask. He wasn’t a virgin at all, but he had never kissed anyone. It was supposed to be special. Not forced. He never felt the urge to kiss someone before.

Until Bokuto.

But that was terrifying to him. Anything in himself that he couldn’t control his repressed. He didn’t fear many things but if he did he would hide it so well he could forget about it himself. If he had an urge he didn’t want, he would bury it deep.

And kissing Bokuto was a very hard urge to bury. 

Bokuto’s eyes were shining and his smirk was back. He never expected to make this kind of discovery.

Akaashi stood up, shoving Bokuto backwards. “What are you going to do? Are you going to tell everybody now? Was this what you wanted the whole time?” Akaashi was freaking out on the inside. Bokuto finally got what he wanted. Bokuto would tell everyone and then nobody would take Akaashi seriously ever again.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t had your first kiss.” Silence passed after Bokuto spoke. He still couldn’t believe it. “Do you really think I would do something like that?”

Akaashi thought about it. No, Bokuto wouldn’t do that to anybody. But Akaashi wasn’t just anybody. They hated each other and normalities were off the table. 

Akaashi shook his head no anyways. “It’s not that nobody would kiss me, I just-“

“I know. Clearly.” Bokuto thought it was cute that Akaashi had to explain himself. Like he hadn’t been trying to kiss him this whole time.

“Right...” Akaashi said, messing with his fingers in a nervous habit. He felt so out of ease. He was uncomfortable, kind of wanted to run, but also kind of felt comfort in Bokuto. Akaashi looked back up at him finally.

“So, you would kiss me? Like, if I wanted to?” Akaashi asked hesitantly.

Bokuto was tempted to laugh in Akaashi’s face, but he knew how to read the room. Akaashi was being serious right now so he would be too. “Yes, I would.”

“Why?”

The look in Akaashi’s eyes was curious, but also looked like he could shatter at any moment. Bokuto was incredibly confused. “Well,” and then he realized.

Was he going to tell Akaashi he liked him? He couldn’t say that, right? Akaashi would freak.

“I don’t hate you. I already told you I just messed with you for your attention. I didn’t want to get thrown away like all the other nice guys. I don’t exactly like getting hurt.” Bokuto spoke honestly while leaving out a few details. It felt like he was confessing, but he was sure Akaashi was too dense to understand. 

“I’ll kiss you,” Akaashi blurted out. He was blushing, but he also looked pretty sure of himself. He wanted to get the urge out of his system.

Bokuto felt like he was being used, but he knew he didn’t have the strength to say no. He could probably never say no to Akaashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this... actually happening? Hehe we’ll see next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi felt like he was going to combust. He hated Bokuto. He hated him so much. Everything about him was infuriating. How could he be so cruel? It was obvious Akaashi didn’t know what he was doing.

Bokuto started to move closer to Akaashi. He placed a hand under his chin and made their eyes meet with a little bit of force.

Akaashi was resisting but he didn’t even realize. His body was completely locked frozen in place and he was extremely tense. He couldn’t move and he couldn’t look at Bokuto. His eyes stayed where they were, focused on the floor, even as his head was moved.

Bokuto could tell Akaashi was tense, but he didn’t know why. Didn’t he just agree to this? “Look at me,” Bokuto said. 

Akaashi did, but his eyes were still teary. Akaashi couldn’t believe Bokuto had seen him close to crying twice. He doesn’t think anyone has actually seen him cry.

Bokuto leaned forward, closing even more of the distance.

Akaashi didn’t bother teasing this time. It was really going to happen. But he stayed completely still. He was so nervous and uncomfortable.

A moment of silence and nobody moved.

Bokuto was the one to pull away this time. He couldn’t do this.

Akaashi stood there, dumbfounded. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Leaving,” was Bokuto’s simple response.

Akaashi didn’t understand. Why was Bokuto leaving? Did he do something? He must’ve been getting revenge for what happened that night at the party. Akaashi felt like an absolute idiot. He hit Bokuto in the chest with a closed fist. “I knew you were just playing with me! I fucking knew it!”

Bokuto looked a little surprised, but he understood where Akaashi’s mind was going. He was getting better and better at reading him everyday (where Akaashi just got worse at reading Bokuto).

“I’m not going to kiss someone who doesn’t want to kiss me, ‘Kaashi.”

Akaashi also didn’t understand that. He wanted to kiss Bokuto. Badly. “I told you I would, what is that supposed to mean?” Akaashi asked, his tone harsh and accusatory.

Bokuto could still remember how tense Akaashi’s jaw was against his palm. How his lips were slightly pursed and closed off. How the tears were threatening to spill at any moment.

Bokuto thought Akaashi looked absolutely beautiful with teary eyes, but he didn’t want this to be the cause. He could feel how uncomfortable Akaashi was.

If he didn’t believe that Akaashi didn’t want to kiss him yet, he did now. Bokuto knew now that he had overstepped boundaries. He read Akaashi completely wrong in the last few weeks. The attraction was one sided.

Bokuto smiled at Akaashi. Genuine. But it was shattering a piece of his heart. “You said you would do it, not that you wanted to. You were so tense I felt like I was forcing you,” Bokuto explained.

Akaashi‘s eyes widened. But then his eyebrows were furrowed and he was defensive again. “You can’t just leave.”

“And why not?”

“You said you would kiss me if I wanted to!” Akaashi yelled. He hated feeling desperate, and he hated asking for things. Bokuto was making this so hard.

“Then ask me. Tell me you want it,” Bokuto demanded. His tone was very serious. If Akaashi couldn’t do this, he would leave. It didn’t take a genius to see how anxious Akaashi was.

Akaashi stayed silent, frozen.

Bokuto nodded his head. He understood. He grabbed his bag from where it lay forgotten on the floor. He couldn’t believe he let himself walk right into another one of Akaashi’s traps again.

“Bokuto don’t leave,” Akaashi pleaded.

Bokuto didn’t listen. He headed for the door. Three—no maybe four—steps away from leaving Akaashi there alone.

“Bokuto stop, please.”

Bokuto noted that he hadn’t really heard Akaashi say that word very often. ‘Please.’

This moment felt excruciating to Akaashi. Nobody had ever made him beg for something like this before. He felt like he was crumbling in front of Bokuto.

“I want it!” Akaashi yelled right as Bokuto began to twist the door knob.

It was Bokuto’s turn to freeze. 

He couldn’t really believe his ears, but his heart beat had picked up instantly. He turned around to face Akaashi, a hand still on the knob. His eyes were dark. “What do you want?”

Akaashi bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to say it. Not to him. 

Bokuto raised his eyebrows, waiting.

“I want... to kiss you,” Akaashi mumbled.

Akaashi wanted it more than anything. He was so close too many times to let it go now. He didn’t think he had ever wanted something more in his life. Not a score on a test. Not a spot on the team. Nothing.

Bokuto dropped his hand from the knob. “Then come kiss me,” he said. Bokuto really hoped Akaashi meant it. He should’ve left when he could’ve, but hope weighed his limbs down. Made him move slower, draw closer to Akaashi. 

Akaashi felt like he was going to combust. He hated Bokuto. He hated him so much. Everything about him was infuriating. How could he be so cruel? It was obvious Akaashi didn’t know what he was doing.

Akaashi walked over to Bokuto with a fire in his eyes. He was livid. 

He wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck again, expecting him to meet him half way. Nothing. Bokuto didn’t budge. Akaashi let out a noise suspiciously close to a whine and Bokuto smirked.

Akaashi had enough. He placed a hand on either side of Bokuto’s face pulling him down so their lips could meet. 

Akaashi had to raise himself up on his toes just slightly; but then, their lips were finally pressed together in a kiss. 

It was short, and Bokuto had to adjust his lips so they could slot together better, but it had both of their cheeks heating up and heart rates increasing.

Akaashi still felt like his heart was trying to jump out of his chest when Bokuto pulled away. Did he stay there for too long? Was the timing off?

Bokuto really just wanted to scan Akaashi’s face. Look closely at all of his features. He leaned down this time to meet Akaashi half way in a second, less rushed kiss.

Akaashi’s mind was still working rapidly, calculating every little detail. 

“Relax,” Bokuto mumbled before pressing their lips back together.

Akaashi tried, he really did, but it took some convincing.

Bokuto dropped his bag back to the floor, hands landing on Akaashi’s hips, grounding himself. He wanted more, but he had to take his time. Akaashi wanted something special so he would give him it.

Akaashi felt his skin grow hot underneath Bokuto’s hands. It felt addicting. He wondered when or if this would ever happen again. 

Bokuto tilted his head to get a better angle, careful not to move too fast. When he began to move his lips, Akaashi followed.

Akaashi still felt like he was out of place and didn’t know what he was doing, but it felt good. Good enough for him to ignore those thoughts and finally relax.

He dropped a hand from Bokuto’s face and let it wonder down to his chest. Bokuto was solid and the muscles felt good under Akaashi’s palm. He blushed even more at the thought.

Bokuto completely wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s waist. It felt so small. He pulled their bodies even closer. He felt Akaashi’s hand tightening into a fist in his shirt and he gasped.

Bokuto took the opportunity. He let his tongue graze across Akaashi’s opened lips, asking for more. He wanted so much more.

But that was apparently Akaashi’s limit. He pushed Bokuto’s chest and pulled away like he had been burned, putting at least a foot of distance between them.

Bokuto licked his own lips, staring at Akaashi’s flustered face. He was fine if that was all for now. He could wait for more.

Akaashi covered his face with his hands for a moment, willing his face to stop burning and his breathing to calm down. 

Bokuto stood there for a moment kind of awkwardly. Akaashi was unpredictable now so he didn’t want to do anything wrong.

After a moment, Akaashi grabbed his own bag and made for his leave. Bokuto stopped him before he could.

“Give me your number,” Bokuto blurted out.

Akaashi looked scandalized. “No!” he said, trying to shove Bokuto out of the way who wouldn’t budge.

“Come on, it’s just your number.”

Akaashi had to wrestle him out of the way, but he finally managed. Before he left, he gave Bokuto a stern look. “This doesn’t change anything,” Akaashi claimed.

The the door was slammed in Bokuto’s face and he was alone again. 

Bokuto still couldn’t really believe that happened, but he also doubted it would be the last.

Akaashi looked so cute when he was angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could end the story here... but I don’t really feel like it. Hope it isn’t getting too long!
> 
> This one was very fun to write.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, bull shit. You and your loud mouth never know when to stop,” Akaashi took a step forward, looking up at Bokuto, “You,” he poked a finger to his chest, “are nothing but a pathetic mutt. You go around wagging your tail at anyone who even gives you a little attention and then scare them off.”

Akaashi thought getting it out of his system would help. He thought he was just getting it out of his system. But now all he could think about was Bokuto’s lips pressed against his own.

What if he had let Bokuto take it further? How far was Bokuto willing to go? Was he willing to do it again? Well, obviously Bokuto would do it again, he had asked for Akaashi’s number afterwards. But was that what he wanted?

Akaashi thought it was the only reasonable explanation. Bokuto just wanted his number so they could do that again. And maybe more when Akaashi was ready. But Akaashi didn’t want to be somebody’s booty call. He wasn’t going to let this happen again.

But kissing felt so good.

Akaashi wished he had let Kuroo kiss him a few months ago when he had tried. He wondered how Kuroo kissed people. Was he gentle and slow like Bokuto? Or was he rough?

Akaashi wanted rough. He wanted passion and heat and limbs tangled. That’s how he liked other things anyways. Clearly Bokuto just couldn’t fit those needs. Maybe Kuroo would.

He willed himself to stop thinking about either of the two. But he couldn’t ignore the fact that Kuroo’s name on his tongue didn’t elicit butterflies like Bokuto’s did. Curses.

At school the next day, Akaashi was still paranoid that Bokuto would tell everyone. He had a big mouth and couldn’t keep secrets, but there didn’t seem to be any news going around.

Akaashi had it in his head that people actually gave a shit. They don’t. 

In class, Bokuto was louder. Livelier. Meaner. He pushed Akaashi’s buttons like normal and fired back to anything that came his way. Everything was seemingly back to normal except for one small little detail.

Some person Akaashi barely knew asked him in the middle of class when he started hooking up with Bokuto.

“What?” Was Akaashi’s flat response.

He tried to keep calm and collected, but he was clearly fuming. A couple other people in the class laughed like they knew too. People he never even spoke to because they didn’t matter to him. How did they all know about this?

“Like, when did it start? Not that I care, that’s totally cool, I’m just shocked,” the nameless person was blabbing on now. 

Akaashi put a finger over his lips and they immediately shut up. Their smiles even faded when they saw the look on Akaashi’s face. “We are not hooking up. If I hear anything about this again,” he paused, tilting his head to the side, “what’s your name?”

“M-Masaru.”

“Right. If I hear anything else about this, Masaru, I won’t be very happy. It’s not nice to spread false rumors about people.” Akaashi was smiling, but it was clear he was angry.

As soon as the lunch bell was ringing, Akaashi shot out of his seat. He headed down towards the gym where he knew Bokuto and his friends sat outside on the concrete like the animals they were. It was like a magnet drew Bokuto to the gym.

As soon as Akaashi approached their group, Bokuto stood up, smiling proudly. Akaashi did not look so happy though and he felt a cold chill go down his back. Why did Akaashi look so furious?

Without a word, Bokuto knew to follow Akaashi. They ended up in an empty classroom near the gym.

As soon as the doors were closed, Bokuto reached a hand out to Akaashi’s shoulder. “‘Kaashi, what’s wrong? Why did-“

“I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill you, slowly and painfully, and-“

“Can you clam down for a second-“

“Get your fucking hands off me, you bastard!”

Bokuto took his hand off of Akaashi’s shoulder and took a step back, putting his hands up clear in the air. He was so very confused. “Can you just tell me what’s going on?”

Akaashi threw his bag at Bokuto (who winced even though it didn’t really hurt). “How could you tell people we’re hooking up? You’re sick. I hate people like you, I can’t fucking believe I kissed someone so disgusting.”

Bokuto blinked a few times, trying to process everything. “I didn’t tell anybody anything,” he explained.

“Oh, bull shit. You and your loud mouth never know when to stop,” Akaashi took a step forward, looking up at Bokuto, “You,” he poked a finger to his chest, “are nothing but a pathetic mutt. You go around wagging your tail at anyone who even gives you a little attention and then scare them off.”

Bokuto was silent. He didn’t know what caused this, but he was sure something was going around about them. And Bokuto really didn’t tell anybody. Akaasi’s words hurt though and he didn’t want to deal with this.

“I made a promise. I didn’t tell anybody. If I were you, I would ask Konoha who made that exact accusation yesterday when he walked in on us, but that’s just my assumption.”

Akaashi took a second to think about Bokuto words. Oh. That actually did make sense. He shook his head to snap himself out of it. “Whatever. I just shouldn’t have done that yesterday.”

“What, kiss me?” Bokuto asked, though it was mostly rhetorical. He was pretty sure that was exactly what Akaashi was referencing. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself though.”

“Well I wasn’t,” Akaashi was quick to reply in a matter-of-fact tone. 

“Oh, is that so?” Bokuto was smirking again. He moved forward, crowing way further into Akaashi’s space. 

“Of course I didn’t enjoy it,” Akaashi looked down to the side so that their faces weren’t so close, “you kiss like a grandma. Too slow and gentle, I thought you were trying to bore me to sleep.”

This was a little surprising to Bokuto. He let out a soft chuckle in disbelief. He didn’t really believe those words, but it was so like Akaashi to say that. “Well I’m sorry, princess. Maybe you’d be so kind as to let me try again?”

Akaashi blushed, putting his hands on Bokuto’s chest when he tried to come even closer. “Don’t call me that...” he muttered. Bokuto felt so warm and inviting though. Thoughts of the kiss plagued his mind again.

“I didn’t know you liked it rough.”

Those words made Akaashi feel something so deep it was inexplainable. It was exactly what he wanted, but he shouldn’t. Not with Bokuto. 

“I should’ve known when you pulled my hair that you wanted it hard,” Bokuto continued. He lifted his own hand into Akaashi’s hair this time. He didn’t tug or pull, just kept it there. Akaashi didn’t stop him.

“Beg for it.” Bokuto whispered.

Akaashi pushed harder on Bokuto’s chest, pulled out of his short trance, but Bokuto didn’t budge. Akaashi needed to get out before another repeat of yesterday. “We shouldn’t do this again,” Akaashi insisted.

“But you want it, don’t you?” Bokuto leaned down, kissing a trail from Akaashi’s jawline all the way down to the junction of his neck and shoulder. It was soft and barely there, but enough to drive Akaashi crazy. Bokuto really knew what he was doing.

“Please,” Akaashi spoke under his breath. 

“What?”

“You know what.”

That received another chuckle from Bokuto. He lifted his other hand up to cup Akaashi’s jaw. He dragged his thumb lightly across Akaashi’s bottom lip. He smiled when Akaashi’s lips parted to invite it in. But Bokuto wouldn’t allow that yet. “Yes, I know what. But I want to hear you say it.”

Akaashi knew how he must look. He knew how much Bokuto liked to see him like this. He knew how much he secretly liked feeling like this, but it was still difficult.

“Please, Bokuto... show me more.”

Akaashi wondered if that was good enough. Bokuto wouldn’t leave, right? He remembered what happened yesterday.

“I want you to show me more, please!” Akaashi begged. He tried to reach up to meet Bokuo’s lips on his own when he felt it.

Bokuto finally tugged his hair. Hard.

Akaashi couldn’t reach his lips. The pulling felt so good. It burned but it felt perfect. He felt tears stinging his eyes. He stopped struggling.

“Good boy,” Bokuto said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad when I write dirtier chapters lol. Is this okay?
> 
> Also it looks like this story won’t be ending any time soon! I have more ideas


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto took the opportunity while their eyes were locked. “I think I want to try being friends before anything, if you’re okay with that.”

Two, three more times, it happened in that exact same order. Akaashi would find some reason to be angry with Bokuto and go seek him out. Bokuto would eventually give in and go with Akaashi somewhere alone. Bokuto would then have to talk Akaashi down from whatever rant or mental breakdown he was going through. 

They would then furiously make out.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The same cycle over and over. Except, Bokuto was kind of getting sick of it. He didn’t like the feeling it left after. He didn’t like going back to normal after (which meant being ignored by Akaashi). Bokuto just wanted something more, and he didn’t mean sexually.

He felt so stuck. If he tried to ask for more, Akaashi would just think he meant sex. He wanted to get to know Akaashi more, but he knew he would be turned down immediately. It was pretty hopeless.

He knew if he was smart he would’ve ended this already, but he clearly had a weak spot.

Yes, if Akaashi decided to stop all of this now, he would be upset. But he wouldn’t be completely crushed (probably because he half expected it).

Though, the longer this went on, the worse it would be when it came crashing down.

Bokuto had learned that Akaashi was a very insecure person. If that much hadn’t already been obvious. He thought it was stupid, because Akaashi was wicked smart and probably the most beautiful person Bokuto had ever seen. But you can’t give someone confidence over night.

With each meeting, Bokuto learned more about what goes on inside Akaashi’s head, and he didn’t like it. He wanted to tell Akaashi how amazing he was but he was afraid he would scare him away. Akaashi wanted an outlet for his anger, not a friend.

And an outlet Bokuto was. He didn’t mind the first few times, but after the third—fourth, fifth—time, he was starting to feel used. He knew this would happen, but it still hurt.

Now, Bokuto didn’t want to say Akaashi was controlling. Akaashi never guilted him into anything, and if anything, Bokuto was the one who had done most of the convincing in the beginning. Making Akaashi work for it. 

But Bokuto felt like if he left now, Akaashi would break down even worse. Part of him hoped Akaashi needed Bokuto as much as Bokuto needed him, but there were other thoughts that passed through his mind late at night.

If I left, would it even hurt him? Would he just find somebody else? Would he let them kiss him too? Would he tell them about the things that bothered him? Would he let them go even further?

So Bokuto was selfish.

He had gone through every pro and con of leaving Akaashi. The pros being that he wouldn’t feel used anymore and it wouldn’t hurt as much as if it were Akaashi leaving him instead. Cons being that Akaashi could go find someone else and forget about him completely. So yeah, he was going to be selfish.

The idea of Akaashi with someone else outweighed every other thought. So he would try to go on with this for a little while longer, but he knew he had a breaking point, and it was approaching very quickly.

Akaashi, on the other hand, didn’t really care as much. He hadn’t even thought of Bokuto being with someone else and he was fine with their current arrangement. For the most part.

Sure, there were still times when he wanted something more, but he didn’t need it like Bokuto did. He never even liked relationships anyways, so what he had with Bokuto was perfect. 

Akaashi didn’t really have anything bothering him now. Every time he went to see Bokuto he let his anger out. But now he felt better. He was nicer to people (in his opinion, which most people would disagree with), he didn’t lash out as much, and he slept easier. All because of making out with Bokuto.

He wouldn’t admit that he really felt better because Bokuto helped him through his problems.

Everything was fine, but he still wanted to see Bokuto. He was able to find him pretty easily after practice in the locker room.

Akaashi made sure nobody was around and no bags were on the benches. He was more careful after what happened with Konoha.

And in case you were wondering; yes, Konoha spread the rumors. Not Bokuto.

Akaashi locked the door before making his way towards Bokuto. It was an unspoken rule not to lock the door, but nobody should be coming anyways.

Bokuto knew it was coming, he just didn’t know what the issue would be this time. “What’s wrong?” He asked Akaashi, pulling his shirt over his head.

Akaashi was silent for a moment, perhaps coming up with a problem in his head, but couldn’t find anything. “Nothing,” he mumbled in response. 

Bokuto was a little confused, but he didn’t want to pry. Maybe something was really bothering Akaashi this time. Something so bad he didn’t even want to rant about it. That didn’t bother Bokuto much, he was okay with boundaries. “Then do you need something?” He asked.

Akaashi shrugged his shoulders. He was busy looking anywhere but near Bokuto. He somehow felt even more vulnerable now then when he was spilling his secrets.

“So nothing’s wrong, and you don’t need anything?” Bokuto then asked. There was a little bit of disbelief in his voice, but he didn’t want to seem like he was making fun of Akaashi.

Except, that’s exactly how Akaashi took it of course. Leave it to Akaashi to be stubborn as ever. “Yes, I don’t need anything,” he shot back, walking towards his own locker. He didn’t need anything from it, he just didn’t want Bokuto to see his face. Flustered and a little pouty. “I didn’t know I couldn’t see you without needing something,” he spat.

Bokuto flinched. He froze in his spot. Akaashi was seeking him out purely because he wanted to see him? It seemed unbelievable to Bokuto, but he wanted it to be true so badly. He slowly closed his locker. “No, no, that’s okay! You can, I don’t mind.”

Akaashi shook his head and pretended to look through his locker for something. He wasn’t fooling anyone. “No, I get it. I should leave.”

Bokuto went over to Akaashi’s side. “Stay,” Bokuto insisted, wrapping and arm around Akaashi’s waist, “we can go somewhere else, if you want.”

Akaashi gave Bokuto a confused look. Bokuto explained himself immediately. “I’ll drive you to my place.”

At that, Akaashi shoved Bokuto’s arm off. This was something completely new and Akaashi didn’t want it. He just wanted things to stay as they were.

Bokuto got the message. He let out a deep sigh. “Look, Akaashi, I don’t want things to continue on like this. I already made it pretty clear I don’t want to be some dispensable person for you to get rid of in a week.”

Akaashi crossed his arms over his chest, closing himself off. Bokuto was able to read Akaashi’s body language easier now. It was so obvious. 

Bokuto continued when Akaashi stayed silent. “If you don’t want anything more, then let’s stop this now.”

Akaashi gasped. Was Bokuto going to stop things so easily? He didn’t actually know what to label whatever this things was that they had, but he really, really, didn’t want to let it go. “Don’t be ridiculous, Bokuto,” he accused.

Bokuto smiled. It made Akaash feel sick. “You’re right. That’s exactly why I should stop this before it hurts even more. And it really does hurt.”

Somehow Bokuto admitting that it hurt made Akaashi break a little inside. He should feel fine, but he felt horrible. He felt like he did something wrong. Was he hurting Bokuto this whole time? Was he really as bad as Bokuto had said he was a while back?

“You don’t have to do this.”

“You’re not really giving me a choice, Akaashi.”

“Don’t leave me!”

Bokuto winced. He wasn’t leaving Akaashi. He was never his to begin with. But it felt like it. This unspoken agreement meant a lot to both of them it seemed. Akaashi was just too blind. 

“Then give me something more,” Bokuto said. He knew it was unlikely, but he had to stay firm. He couldn’t give in like he always did.

“Like what?” Akaashi asked hesitantly. He was messing with his fingers again, a habit Bokuto knew Akaashi did when he was nervous.

Bokuto thought for a moment. He had to be careful with his words while still communicating what he wanted. “I don’t want to meet in secret anymore. And I want to see you outside of school. I don’t want you to be ashamed of me.”

Akaashi looked up to meet Bokuto’s eyes. Was he ashamed of him? Sure, he hadn’t told anybody about their meetings, but that’s because they didn’t mean anything. Would he even tell people if it did mean something? He wasn’t sure.

Bokuto took the opportunity while their eyes were locked. “I think I want to try being friends before anything, if you’re okay with that.”

Akaashi wasn’t sure if he was okay with that. He still wanted Bokuto, but he didn’t want to just out of arms reach. He had a feeling he was going to have to prove himself to Bokuto though.

He was sure he could do it if he really tried, but he also knew there would probably be obstacles. Akaashi knew how moody he could be, but Bokuto had handled it pretty well so far. Maybe he should give this a chance.

“Okay,” Akaashi finally answered under his breath. He thought maybe he could do this.

Bokuto was shocked, but he was also very happy. He didn’t expect Akaashi to agree, but he knew this meant there was a lot of work ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my next story will be BokuAka also. Maybe a best friends to lovers kind of thing where they have both liked each other at some point but keep it to themselves. I was thinking maybe Akaashi is in a relationship though so that’s why Bokuto doesn’t say anything. But Akaashi is just trying to get over Bokuto :’(


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi kicked Bokuto out of the bed who landed with a thud. “How could you let me fall asleep? Are you fucking crazy?”
> 
> Bokuto shrugged. There was pain in his chin and butt now, and he was honestly still a little sleepy. He never woke up easily.

“Give me your phone,” Bokuto asked, sticking his hand out palm up for Akaashi. He received a mean look, but Akaashi eventually pulled his phone out and slapped it in Bokuto’s hand. 

Akaashi crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Bokuto typing something. Then Bokuto was handing his phone back with a new contact in it. He felt his palms starting to sweat a little and his heart rate pick up. He felt like a stupid middle schooler with a crush.

Bokuto was smiling, wide and a little crooked. Akaashi would say he looked like a stupid mutt, but he loved it when Bokuto smiled like this the most. 

Akaashi was already starting to regret agreeing to this. Bokuto looked way too giddy. He swore he could see Bokuto’s tail wagging.

“So, now that we’re friends-“

“No.” Akaashi cut Bokuto off.

The kicked puppy look he received almost made him feel bad. But he didn’t want to know whatever crazy idea Bokuto had next. He had enough for one day.

“I was just going to ask if you wanted to go to my house. That offer is still on the table,” Bokuto explained, trying to show how serious he was. He knew that he had just proposed going to his house to make out, but he was pretty sure he could refrain. Like, 70% sure.

Akaashi opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it. He didn’t have anything to do, but he should probably study. But he always studied. Maybe if he saw Bokuto’s room he could see how much he really studies. He was curious.

He was able to convince himself that was the only reason, but he really just wanted to spend a little more time with Bokuto. Only a little, he would leave as soon as he saw the opportunity. 

“Fine. But I’m not staying for long and you’re driving me back to my house when I say,” Akaashi offered. 

Bokuto couldn’t contain his smile if he tried. He grabbed his own bag, and then swept past Akaashi to grab his. He carried his on his back and Akaashi’s in his hand. “Let’s go then.”

On the way to Bokuto’s house, Akaashi realized a few things. One being that Bokuto wasn’t a very great driver.

He found himself holding on to his seat for the entire ride. Eventually he just had to look away from the road. He didn’t want to see the crash waiting to happen. 

When they got there Akaashi looked around. He wasn’t sure at first when the drove into the neighborhood, but there was no mistaking it now. He couldn’t believe this. “You live here?!” Akaashi shouted.

Bokuto nearly jumped out of his seat. He turned the car off and turned to face Akaashi. “Yes, I live here. Is there a problem?” he asked hesitantly.

Akaashi looked down the street, and then back to Bokuto, and then to the house they had pulled in front of. He got out of the car quickly after grabbing his bag. 

Bokuto followed him out, wondering what the hell was wrong. He didn’t expect this kind of reaction and as far as he knew, there was nothing wrong.

“That’s my house,” Akaashi said, pointing about three or four houses down, Bokuto couldn’t really tell.

“The one with the red car?”

“No, the one with the gray door.”

“Oh.”

They stood in silence for a moment. Bokuto couldn’t believe they had lived that close to each other this whole time. “Can I give you rides to school now?” Bokuto asked.

“Absolutely not.” Akaashi made his way up the driveway, not even waiting for Bokuto. He didn’t want to fear for his life every morning.

Bokuto let them in, but he was a little upset Akaashi wouldn’t get rides from him. He was pretty sure Akaashi just rode the bus so there was no reason for him not to.

Inside Bokuto’s house, Akaashi felt a little out of place. There was definitely nobody home. No car was in the drive and the lights were off (which was a little weird), but he didn’t bother to ask. There also wasn’t any crazy decor like he kind of would’ve expected. It was very minimal and neat.

“My room is just down that hall. It’s the first room on the left, I’ll meet you in there,” Bokuto said while pointing. He then headed to the kitchen, leaving Akaashi alone.

Akaashi noticed on his way that there also weren’t many pictures of Bokuto’s family. There were a few photos of him as a kid, but no family photos. Bokuto looked really, really, cute when he was younger though. It looked like his hair had gone through and ugly yellow iced tips phase in middle school before the silver it was now.

In Bokuto’s room, everything made more sense. Posters of anything and everything littered the walls. Most of them were volleyball, but there was a wall of band posters. Akaashi wasn’t even sure how somebody could like that many bands.

Akaashi sat down on Bokuto’s bed, smoothing a hand over the comforter. He felt like he was doing something wrong. Then he noticed Bokuto’s floral sheets. He had probably had those forever. Akaashi cracked a small smile.

The room wasn’t the cleanest, but it wasn’t a pig pen like Akaashi kind of expected. There weren’t any textbooks lying around, but plenty of manga. It looked like Bokuto liked action the most. Plenty editions of one piece and bleach were scattered on his desk. 

Akaashi wasn’t sure what Bokuto was doing, but then he was barging in the door with a couple glasses of water and it made sense. That was nice of him.

Akaashi watched as Bokuto pushed a couple books to the side to set the glasses down. Akaashi let out a short laugh.

Bokuto frowned. “I didn’t really expect visitors, y’know.” But then it dawned on him. Akaashi was smiling.

In all the time Bokuto had known Akaashi, he had probably seen him smile twice. Only when talking to other people and not as natural as it was now. Bokuto looked away when he realized he was blushing. “Uh, so, do you wanna watch a movie?”

Akaashi thought about it for a second. He said he wouldn’t stay long, and movies were long. But that meant they wouldn’t be talking as much which seemed less awkward. “Sure,” he responded finally.

“Move over,” Bokuto said before slipping into the bed next to Akaashi. He grabbed his laptop and opened it to Netflix, flipping through the newest releases. 

Akaashi didn’t really think Bokuto meant they would be watching a movie in his bed on his laptop. This meant they had to be a lot closer than he wanted, but Bokuto didn’t seem to even think about it. Akaashi supposed he was just asking weird. He had to get better about this.

Bokuto clicked on a movie. “Have you seen this one?” he asked, to which Akaashi just shook his head. He didn’t really watch movies. “Are you kidding? This is, like, the best movie. You have to see it.” He clicked play.

Throughout the whole movie, Bokuto took it upon himself to explain every little detail and behind the scenes fact. He quite literally would not shut up.

Somehow, the zombie movie background noise and Bokuto’s voice was enough to make him feel tired.

It was probably because this was prime nap time for Akaashi and they had just gotten out of practice. He was pretty exhausted.

Bokuto only noticed when Akaashi’s head fell on his shoulder. He stopped explaining why the bat one of the main characters had was so important. He looked down at Akaashi.

His breathing had evened out and his eyes were closed. How had Bokuto not realized Akaashi was falling asleep? Was he really talking this whole time? Did Akaashi think the movie was bad? Bokuto didn’t know.

He paused the movie, looking over at his clock. It wasn’t too late. Maybe he should just let Akaashi sleep. In a moment of selfishness, he set the laptop down on the ground and pulled the blankets over them.

Bokuto knew that Akaashi wouldn’t have come over if he had something to do. But he also didn’t know when his parents would want him home. He didn’t really know anything about Akaashi still, and it bothered him. But he would save those thoughts for later.

He could just wake Akaashi up after a short nap and everything would be fine. He would tell Akaashi the movie had just finished and he hadn’t even know he was asleep.

Except, Akaashi was a hugger.

He always slept hugging a pillow, and right now, Bokuto was a very large very warm pillow. Akaashi slowly wrapped an arm around Bokuto. He nuzzled his face in closer to the crook of Bokuto’s neck.

Bokuto had to stop himself from letting out a noise, but he was quite ticklish. He was able to resist, but he also wanted to scream. Akaashi was hugging him and laying against his chest. This was probably the best moment of his life.

When a little time passed, Bokuto brought a hand up to Akaashi’s hair. He had noticed Akaashi’s hair was soft from their few make out sessions, but he never got to think about it.

Now, gently stroking his fingers through Akaashi’s hair, he noticed just how soft it really was. Way softer than his own bleached hair. It was soft and didnt have any product. Bokuto forgot hair could feel this healthy.

He smiled, completely content. And hour passed by and then another. He still couldn’t find it in himself to wake Akaashi up.

When Akaashi did wake up, it was with a bang. Literally. He shot up so fast his head collided with Bokuto’s chin. 

Bokuto—who had also accidentally dozed off now—woke up immediately, feeling around his jaw where the pain was. Akaashi was looking at him like he was out of his mind. Maybe he was.

“Were we just cuddling?!”

“Uh, maybe.”

Akaashi kicked Bokuto out of the bed who landed with a thud. “How could you let me fall asleep? Are you fucking crazy?”

Bokuto shrugged. There was pain in his chin and butt now, and he was honestly still a little sleepy. He never woke up easily.

Akaashi stood up, fixing his hair hurriedly. He straightened out his shirt and looked around. Finally he found his bag.

“Akaashi I’m sorry,” Bokuto said, pleading with his eyes.

Akaashi let out a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a second before turning to face Bokuto. “I know. But not again. You said we would be friends, okay?”

Bokuto nodded, pulling his hand back from his face to check for blood. There wasn’t any.

“Good. Then just give me some space. I’m trying,” Akaashi stated.

It meant a lot to Bokuto for Akaashi to say that. He might’ve over stepped a boundary or two, but he had to be better for Akaashi. He could be so much better. 

“Let me walk you out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute. Cute. Cute! Hope this was okay
> 
> Thanks for at least a little growth Akaashi. A very little amount, but it’s something.
> 
> Can’t wait to switch it up and write angst again muahaha 😈


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi didn’t understand how he let it happen. Somehow, he still felt like things were falling apart. Like nothing was really solved.

To Bokuto, giving Akaashi space was strictly physical. He didn’t understand that Akaashi needed mental recovery too. He wasn’t used to this, and by space he meant just being alone sometimes too. He was naturally an introvert, call that bull shit if you must, but he couldn’t be around people all the time.

When Bokuto started giving Akaashi rides home because “you’re so close, I can’t just let you walk,” that was fine with him. He still had his alone time at home as soon as Bokuto drove off.

When Bokuto starting texting him during that alone time, he supposed that was fine too. After all, he usually didn’t have anything better to do other than study or sleep.

When Akaashi’s grades started to slip, he didn’t mind at first. Bokuto didn’t brag about things anymore and Akaashi didn’t care about beating him. It was fine. One person couldn’t distract him so much to the point of his grades dropping. And it wasn’t that much of a change anyways, just lower scores on tests and a few forgotten homework assignments.

When Bokuto started leaving his friends during lunch to find Akaashi during lunch, it didn’t bother him too much. This was what friends did, right? They spent time together.

Except, Akaashi wasn’t fine with it. He was coil, slowly winding up more and more, every day. He could feel an out burst coming.

Not like his little fits of anger he would bombard Bokuto with a few weeks ago. Those had barely any motive and Bokuto wasn’t the root of it.

Akaashi should’ve known it would happen. He never had a friend like this. Someone he was around too often to feel comfortable. He was the type of person who really valued silence, and needed to recharge before socializing, but Bokuto was the opposite.

He was trying really hard to get used to it—for Bokuto—but he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to be around people that much. He felt exhausted and constantly distracted.

At lunch, Akaashi didn’t go to the library like he always did. Almost expectantly, Bokuto sent him a text asking where he was.

Akaashi felt guilty. Like he was hiding from Bokuto. He was, technically, but it wasn’t because he didn’t want to see Bokuto necessarily. Well, he didn’t, but it wasn’t because he was mad at Bokuto or annoyed with him. He just wanted to be alone.

It seemed ridiculous to Akaashi even that he was ignoring Bokuto. It started with him making excuses, but then, he just stopped replying.

Bokuto realized what Akaashi was doing almost immediately. Well, he thought he did, but he wasn’t completely correct. He thought Akaashi was finally getting tired of him. Throwing him away like he did all of the others. Bokuto had already told Akaashi he didn’t want that to happen, but it was.

Bokuto drove home that day without Akaashi. 

Akaashi was a little confused at first why Bokuto’s car wasn’t in the same place it always was. But then he realized Bokuto must’ve taken off without him. Maybe something was wrong?

He sent a text to ask. All he got in response was ‘you tell me.’

What was that supposed to mean? Did Bokuto notice he was slowly pulling away? Akaashi didn’t even want to think about that.

He was being selfish again.

Akaashi went to Bokuto’s house. He didn’t see any other car there like last time. As much as he was thankful Bokuto’s parents were gone, he was also a little scared. He felt like things were falling apart and this was the beginning.

Bokuto answered the door, but he didn’t look happy. Akaashi was thankful he at least let him in.

“Is something wrong, Bokuto?” Akaashi knew he already asked, but he felt like maybe he would get a better response in person. Bokuto was very quiet though, which should have been a red flag as soon as Akaashi walked in the door.

Bokuto crossed his arms over his chest and sat down on the couch. He didn’t get Akaashi anything to drink like usual. He didn’t move them to is bedroom. Nothing.

“I told you I wouldn’t do this,” Bokuto responded. He wanted to be firm and let Akaashi know exactly how he was feeling, but he wasn’t in a good mood. He felt played.

“Do what?”

“I told you when we first started whatever this is that I didn’t want to be disposable to you. I’m not just going to be some convenience to you,” Bokuto tried to explain exactly what he was feeling, but it just came out bitter.

Akaashi blinked a few times, trying to take it all in. “It’s not like that, I just-“

“I don’t care Akaashi.” No! No! Bokuto told himself. He did care. “I just mean... I’m not going to let you use me. I mean it.”

Akaashi thought for a moment how to word things the best way. He wasn’t using Bokuto. Not now at least. He was at first and he promised he would get better, but now he thought he had. Bokuto just didn’t understand.

“I’m not using you, I promise,” Akaashi pleaded. He was starting to feel less and less comfortable standing in front of Bokuto, but he also didn’t want to get closer.

Bokuto stayed silent. He quirked an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. 

“I’m just not used to being around someone so much. It was fine at first, but... I don’t know I just need more space,” he finally explained. Akaashi wasn’t sure if he said it in the best possible way, but it was true.

Except, Bokuto wasn’t buying it. He needed more space? To someone like Bokuto, that was just an excuse. He didn’t understand where Akaashi was coming from, even if it was the truth. It didn’t make sense to him.

Bokuto stood up, looking Akaashi up and down. He was wondering if any of this was worth it. He knew from the beginning that something like this would happen, he just thought maybe this time things would be different. He was an idiot.

“Do you want to sleep with me?” Bokuto asked.

It took Akaashi completely by surprise. His face immediately grew red. Of course he wanted that, he had for a long time (before he even made out with Bokuto). But it just didn’t seem right now.

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Well isn’t that all you wanted from the beginning? I will if that’s still all you want.”

Maybe Bokuto said he would because he knew that was something Akaashi wanted. Maybe he did it because a part of him knew Akaashi would stay that way.

Akaashi shook his head. He didn’t want to get frustrated, but Bokuto wasn’t listening to him at all. “It’s not all I want. I thought you would’ve known that by now. I don’t want to fight right now.”

Bokuto rolled his eyes. He still felt like Akaashi wasn’t being honest. He felt like he had half of the story still. “Then tell me why you’ve been ignoring me if you weren’t just using me. It’s really hard to believe what you’re saying.”

Akaashi let out a sigh. It was too hard to convey exactly how he felt. He had always been this way, he always liked being alone, but he also liked being around Bokuto. He just couldn’t make that transition immediately. “I asked you to give me space, right?”

Bokuto nodded, but he wasn’t following. He didn’t know where this was going.

“Well I didn’t mean just physically. I-... I like to be alone sometimes too. And now you’re all I think about and I see you so much. When I’m studying I find myself texting you instead. And during lunch at the library when I usually finish homework I just want to talk to you,” Akaashi’s voice had gotten quieter with each sentence to the point he had to cut himself off.

He wasn’t used to pouring his heart out into words. Especially not to Bokuto. It was hard enough to explain himself much less something so personal. “It’s just really overwhelming and I can’t handle it right now.”

If Bokuto didn’t believe Akaashi before, he could kind of understand him now. It still didn’t really make sense, but he could see how difficult this was for Akaashi. Honestly, a little painful to watch. He felt bad, but he had to think of himself. He didn’t want to get hurt, and Akaashi had a record.

Akaashi felt like he was asking Bokuto to take a break. Like they were dating. They weren’t though, and this shouldn’t be as difficult as it was. He just wanted Bokuto to understand. 

“So you don’t want to sleep with me?” Bokuto asked.

Akaashi glared and hit him on the shoulder. Of course Bokuto would make a joke now. He smiled a bit and looked down. At least the mood was a little lighter now. “It’s not that I don’t want to... I just want you to trust me. I’m not doing this to, uh,” Akaashi blushed again, “to do that.”

It was so out of character for him to get flustered but Bokuto made it easy.

Bokuto was still hurting a little bit, but he thought it was better to let things go on as they were then to not have Akaashi at all. He was a little mad too that Akaashi couldn’t just tell him when it started to get uncomfortable for him, which made it less believable, but he knew how Akaashi could get. How hard communication was.

Bokuto smiled back. “I honestly still don’t really understand, but I’ll try. It just sounds to me like you don’t want to be around me as much, but I’ll try to trust you more.”

Akaashi was happy with that. He shook his head excitedly before he spoke. “It’s not like that at all I swear. I just haven’t been focused on school as much lately and I’m not really used to socializing so much. It’s different.”

Bokuto nodded. He knew Akaashi had friends, he wasn’t a complete loner, but the only times he had seen him hanging out with people was when their friend group met up. Which was like barely once a month because of conflicting schedules. Maybe he could understand.

“Well, is it rude to ask if you want to stay?” Bokuto asked, placing a hand on Akaashi’s arm as he stepped closer.

Akaashi swore his heart skipped a beat. He shouldn’t stay, not with what they literally just went through. But Bokuto was so inviting. He stuttered out a response. “I really can’t.”

Bokuto pouted. It was enough to convince Akaashi immediately, but he wasn’t done there. “Just for a little bit, I swear. I’ll have you home before it’s even getting dark.”

Akaashi didn’t have to think about it. He was mumbling out a quick ‘yes,’ and then Bokuto was on him in an instant.

Lips against lips. Hands in hair. Skin against hot skin.

Then Bokuto was sliding down Akaashi’s body. He was kissing a trail up his thigh and taking his shirt off.

Akaashi didn’t understand how he let it happen. Somehow, he still felt like things were falling apart. Like nothing was really solved.

But he didn’t go back home that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait this time. I couldn’t really find a direction and I didn’t want to rush it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three days was all it took for Akaashi to break Bokuto’s heart.
> 
> “Bokuto, I don’t think we should be friends.”

After Akaashi and Bokuto had come to an understanding, Akaashi shattered everything completely. It only took three days.

Bokuto was a third year and Akaashi was a second year. This wasn’t news to anyone, but for some reason Akaashi hadn’t really thought about it. Until Akaashi heard Bokuto had a college audition. 

In Osaka.

Now, Akaashi had heard this from a pretty sketchy source, but that didn’t really matter. Even if that was false information, it led Akaashi to do some thinking.

As one of the top five aces in the country, it came as no surprise that many places would want Bokuto. Why Akaashi was only now realizing this was absurd, but he had just never thought of it.

In less than a year, Bokuto could be moving halfway across the country. And who was Akaashi to stop him? Bokuto had a nice career in front of him and Akaashi was just a friend he might remember while thinking back on his high school days in ten or so years.

So Akaashi had to end things now.

He was already too attached. When Bokuto started giving him a little more space, he became the one to seek Bokuto out instead. He never felt bored while studying until he knew what it was like to text Bokuto instead.

Three days was all it took for Akaashi to realize he was just wasting Bokuto’s time.

He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to tell Bokuto he was done being friends, but it was eating away at him. He could hardly stand even looking at Bokuto, but for three days he had forced a smile anyways.

Osaka was so far away, and even if they could meet halfway and see each other when they weren’t busy, that wouldn’t be often. It was pointless. 

Akaashi’s relationship with Bokuto wasn’t even that serious and he felt narcissistic to believe Bokuto would feel bad to leave him. Bokuto wasn’t even leaving him, they weren’t in any relationship. Nothing important enough to stress this much about.

Yet it was all he thought about for three days.

Finally, Akaashi mustered up the courage to end things. When Akaashi asked Bokuto to come over to his house, Bokuto was a little surprised, but he definitely couldn’t say no.

Bokuto hadn’t planned on sleeping with Akaashi three days ago, but he didn’t regret it. It had built up for so long, Bokuto knew Akaashi always wanted it, and it was amazing. Bokuto knew he wasn’t Akaashi’s first time, but it felt like it.

Bokuto could vividly recall how nervous Akaashi was when he was fully undressed. Getting into things, their hands were moving on each other at a mile a minute. But Akaashi grew very shy when he realized things were really escalated.

Bokuto had gently laid Akaashi onto his back. He whispered in Akaashi’s ear that he was beautiful until he hit him on the shoulder and begged him to stop. He grew less bashful then.

Bokuto didn’t stop kissing Akaashi for a minute. When Bokuto was entering him, he reached for his hand. He linked their fingers and held his hand against the sheets by Akaashi’s head. 

Bokuto would probably never forget the way Akaashi had smiled at him when they were lying next to each other, still holding hands.

Now that Bokuto was in front of Akaashi again, he couldn’t help but think about that moment. It felt so special.

Something felt horribly off now.

Maybe it was the way Akaashi refused to look into his eyes. Or the way he was messing with his fingers. That nervous habit he hadn’t seen in weeks.

Three days was all it took for Akaashi to break Bokuto’s heart.

“Bokuto, I don’t think we should be friends.”

There was silence after Akaashi finally spoke.

They were alone in Akaashi’s room. The air smelt familiar and felt cold like it always did. Bokuto noticed Akaashi’s text books weren’t neatly stacked on his shelfs like they always were. It was messy.

Bokuto stared at those textbooks piled on the floor—crumpling other papers—as he let his words sink in. 

“I don’t understand,” Bokuto responded. If Bokuto were an optimist, he might’ve though Akaashi was asking for more than friendship. But he wasn’t, and he never had been. 

Akaashi’s eyes filled with tears. He felt so ridiculous for getting this worked up over something so stupid. Bokuto was stupid and wouldn’t even care after this was over. He tried to remind himself that he never needed Bokuto anyways, but it hurt too much.

He wasn’t in love. Akaashi didn’t think love even existed, but if this was what it felt like, then he didn’t want it anyways. It hurt more than any physical pain. But no, he couldn’t be in love. He couldn’t possibly fall in love in the months they had started this. It was impossible.

It should make things easier for Akaashi to call things off, but it didn’t. Akaashi was doing this so he wouldn’t get hurt later, but he felt so horrible now. “I said I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

Akaashi’s head was whipped to the side.

He looked up at Bokuto with wide eyes once he realized what had happened. Bokuto had slapped him. It wasn’t very hard, but it still stung after. He wondered if it left a red mark on his cheek. It sure as hell felt like it would.

Akaashi bowed his head, looking at his feet. He felt like he should disappear from Bokuto’s sight. “I’m sorry, I just can’t be friends with you. I told you I need space, but it isn’t working.”

“You said you wouldn’t do this,” Bokuto snapped. He looked down at his hand, feeling the warmth emitting from his palm. He never thought he would hit Akaashi, but it was instinctual. He couldn’t even feel bad about it. 

Akaashi nodded his head. “I know,” he said. He felt like every limb in his body was growing sore. It didn’t make sense how something so insignificant could make him feel this way. He shouldn’t even care. “I didn’t think this would happen.”

“Didn’t think what would happen? Didn’t think you would do exactly what I said you would do? You really didn’t know you were going to fuck me and then move on to find someone else to play with?” Bokuto’s anger should have been expected, but these words were too harsh. 

Akaashi sat down in the chair at his desk. He couldn’t stand up anymore.

“It wasn’t like that. I didn’t plan on sleeping with you,” Akaashi explained.

Bokuto approached his desk. “I’m not going to believe your lies anymore. You’ve fooled me for long enough, but I should’ve just trusted what everyone else said.”

Akaashi looked up at that. “What does everyone say?” he asked. He didn’t understand what Bokuto was getting at.

Nothing could’ve prepared Akaashi for what Bokuto said next.

“That you’re a cold slut who doesn’t have a heart.”

Akaashi’s confused expression fell. So that was what people thought about him.

He didn’t believe that of course. Bokuto was one of three people he had gone all the way with, but it hurt to hear the words. Especially coming from Bokuto.

“You don’t believe that, do you?” Akaashi asked. He felt desperate for a sign. Anything that said Bokuto felt bad for saying that. That he was hurting too because Akaashi was leaving him.

The selfish side of Akaashi wanted to know if Bokuto loved him. If he had any feelings for him, or if he really hated him now. But Akaashi was the one trying to distance them for good.

When Bokuto stayed silent and looked away from him, he took it as a sign. Bokuto was just angry.

Akaashi felt an indescribable pain in his chest and throat, but his mind was put at ease. Bokuto didn’t mean it, he was just being impulsive.

And Bokuto didn’t really mean it of course. He had defended Akaashi as soon as he heard those rumors. He told them that they were only friends and Akaashi wouldn’t use people for sex. But, maybe he read Akaashi wrong.

He could never call him anything like that and mean it, but he felt so used. He didn’t want to believe it, but the pain he felt made him say stupid things.

“I think you should go,” Akaashi spoke again. This time, his voice just sounded emotionless. Like he was trying really hard to hide something.

“I don’t want to,” Bokuto said. He was so, so, so stupid. Why would he try? Why would he let Akaashi hurt him again? He should leave. He should listen to Akaashi and never look back. He knew this would happen, yet he still wanted to see all possible outcomes. He wanted Akaashi to change his mind. He also wanted Akaashi to rot in hell.

Akaashi stood up and opened the door. “You need to go.” He said. If his voice broke in the middle of his sentence, he just ignored it.

“You don’t want me to,” Bokuto insisted. Of course it was true, but Akaashi was seconds away from a panic attack.

“Don’t do this, Bokuto.”

“Why can’t you just let yourself be happy?”

Akaashi let out a short gasp. He then began yelling. His defenses were sharpened. “Get out! Get out of my house Bokuto! I’m not asking anymore, get out of my fucking life!!”

Akaashi was crying now. It was stupid. All of it.

Bokuto looked like he was going to say something for a second, but he refrained. He felt his own tears on his face. 

Akaashi still didn’t understand how he could feel so much for someone in so little time.

Bokuto stopped in front of Akaashi on his way out of the room. “I’m sorry I thought maybe I could be different,” he said.

When Akaashi didn’t say anything, Bokuto left. 

Two weeks went by, and neither of them spoke. Akaashi didn’t feel too much better now, but at least he could focus on studying.

At least it wouldn’t hurt as much as letting their relationship grow into something more. It wouldn’t hurt as much as growing distant and falling out of whatever they had. At least Akaashi didn’t have to see him anymore.

People were talking about them for a while. They were never seen together anymore and Bokuto went back to join his friends at lunch again. They avoided each other on the court too and never stayed after to practice together, but things were pretty normal. 

It was easy to see they weren’t friends anymore. Some people said they must’ve fought. Others said Akaashi got tired of Bokuto and moved on. Nobody knew the truth, but it didn’t matter. Talk about the two was history soon.

The rumor going around now was far worse.

Akaashi had overheard people talking. It hurt way more than the rumors that started their fight. It hurt more than anything he could’ve imagined.

At first, Akaashi tried to just ignore it, but then he saw it in front of his own eyes.

Just down the hall, Bokuto had his arm draped around Yukie Shirofuku. A third year and their team manager.

They really were dating. The rumors were true.

Akaashi saw Bokuto’s smile. It was the last thing he saw before he went to class.

It was the last thing he thought about after school was over and the only thing he could think about as he tossed and turned in bed that night. 

Bokuto’s smile was the last thing he saw in his dreams, but that wasn’t new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this one, lol. Hope it was good!
> 
> Should this be the last chapter?
> 
> hehehe jk


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days after Akaashi found out about Bokuto’s ‘girlfriend,’ they were paired up together to clean the classroom.

Bokuto did not have a girlfriend. He wasn’t dating anyone, much less their teams manager. Even if Bokuto wanted to move on and date somebody, that was completely impossible. He wasn’t close to being over Akaashi and he wasn’t into girls.

Bokuto had his arm over Yukie’s shoulder because he was teasing her. They had been friends all through high school and were both in the same class. Bokuto always loved to tease her.

Putting his arm around Yukie meant absolutely nothing to him. But Akaashi didn’t know that.

Akaashi easily forgot that he was the only person at their school who resisted affection so strongly. Especially from someone as likeable as Bokuto.

Of course, Akaashi always overthought everything. This time was no different. His brain told him simply that Bokuto had moved on and was dating Yukie Shirofuku. The pretty third year manager everyone also liked.

The rumor Akaashi had heard about the two dating was nothing new. Any guy who was best friends with a girl would have his own rumors. That was just how people were. It was hard to accept a male and female friendship as only that. Just friends.

Bokuto and Yukie had dealt with that for years though so it stopped bothering them. You can’t change everyone’s minds and you can’t stop rumors from spreading.

However, Akaashi didn’t plan on saying anything. Good for Bokuto.

She was a third year graduating at the same time as Bokuto. She was smart and could probably go wherever he did. She was likeable, very attractive, and didn’t make Bokuto feel like complete utter shit. The whole package.

Akaashi just wished maybe Bokuto had at least waited a little bit longer before getting with someone else. Not that he could contorl him or deserved that curtesy.

A few days after Akaashi found out about Bokuto’s ‘girlfriend,’ they were paired up together to clean the classroom.

The rotation didn’t really have a set order. The teacher just chose two new people when the time came and always made sure you weren’t paired up with the same person twice. Something about getting to know your class, she said.

Akaashi stood there awkwardly as students filed out of the classroom. Their teacher gave him the cleaning supply key from her desk and then left as well. Bokuto didn’t waste any time.

He took the key from Akaashi who still hadn’t moved. 

Once Akaashi snapped out of it, they got to work quick. Bokuto was fast—rushed even—and didn’t spare Akaashi a glance.

That was to be expected, but Akaashi thought maybe there would be some sort of acknowledgment. Nothing came though, just silence.

Akaashi decided to break the silence.

“So... how are you?” He asked.

“How am I?” Bokuto scoffed. He turned around, facing Akaashi. The chalkboard he was cleaning was forgotten about. “Not very well. But I didn’t think you would care.”

Akaashi frowned and closed the window he had finished wiping down. “I just thought I’d ask. You’ve looked fine lately.”

“Well I’m definitely not. Thanks for your generous concern.” Bokuto crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.

“You don’t have to be so mean. I just figured since you have a girlfriend now maybe we wouldn’t have to be so hostile-“

“What girlfriend?” Bokuto interrupted to ask.

Akaashi blinked a few times. Bokuto looked very confused and Akaashi was starting to wonder if he was seeing things. Had he hallucinated? “Uh, Shirofuku. Yukie.”

Bokuto mumbled something under his breath as he turned around to face the chalkboard again, suddenly remembering what he was supposed to be doing. He then spoke up. “Don’t believe rumors like that. People had been spreading that for years because Yukie is a close friend of mine. I’m not dating anyone—not that it’s any of your business.”

Akaashi felt a little relief. He shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it. “Well I’m not the first one to bring up rumors. And I saw your arm around her. I guess I just assumed,” Akaashi explained. 

Bokuto set the chalkboard eraser back in the holder. “Why do you care, anyways?” He asked.

“I-I don’t.”

“Why can’t you just accept your feelings? I can’t be the only one that felt something. Why did you cry so much when you broke this off if you don’t care?”

Bokuto’s slew of questions started to overwhelm Akaashi, but he tried to stay calm. “It was never going to work anyways,” he answered honestly.

Bokuto went over to the door so he could shut it. He didn’t want anyone eavesdropping. He was also afraid this would get intense like last time. But he didn’t want to fight again.

“Because you never let it. I was willing to make it work, ‘Kaashi. You never even gave me the chance.” Bokuto walked over to where Akaashi was still standing. He just wanted to talk.

Akaashi didn’t think he was ready though. It was too much too fast. But it was all true. “That’s not what I mean, Bokuto,” Akaashi tried to explain, “it would’ve never worked in the long run.”

Bokuto tried to understand. He really tried, but he just couldn’t make sense of it. What did Akaashi know about their future that he didn’t? “Please try to help me understand. What started all of this? What really made you end everything?”

Akaashi sat down on top of one of the desks. Again his legs felt too weak to stand. “I just... heard you were taking a college audition in Osaka. And I realized you would be leaving next year and it would hurt even more to let things continue and have to end it then. Especially if we really did start... dating.”

Bokuto couldn’t believe it. Akaashi wanted to end things now before it hurt more later, but Bokuto would go wherever Akaashi wanted if he asked. He would travel all the way to the opposite end of the world if Akaashi wanted it. But it made sense that Akaashi didn’t realize that.

“I won’t go to Osaka,” Bokuto stated.

Akaashi looked up at him with a very surprised expression. He didn’t expect that response. “Don’t say that, Bokuto. You don’t mean it.”

“I do. Just tell me where you want to go. Tell me that you want me to stay right here and I will. I mean it.”

Akaashi shook his head, leaning away when Bokuto stepped even closer. “Stop-“ he stuttered out when Bokuto grew even closer. “You can’t say that. Your future isn’t here and I can’t keep you here. Someone like me can’t hold you back.”

It was Bokuto’s turn to frown. “What do you mean, someone like you?” He asked.

Akaashi lowered his head, hiding his sad expression. “Someone so insignificant. Someone who isn’t important.” He tried to push Bokuto away then, but he didn’t budge.

Bokuto was telling Akaashi such nice things. Things he dreamed of hearing, but they weren’t realistic. Bokuto should go where his career would thrive the most. He shouldn’t care if Akaashi wants him to stay. He shouldn’t say things so genuinely and make Akaashi feel special.

“But I love you, Akaashi.”

Akaashi gasped. 

He couldn’t believe his ears at all.

He blushed furiously and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

How could Bokuto make him feel this way?

“Idiot!” Akaashi yelled. He pushed Bokuto harder, wishing he wasn’t trapped on the desk. “Don’t say that!”

“I do. I love you.”

Akaashi felt himself tearing up again. Maybe he was a crybaby. He never thought he cried so much before.

“Idiot, idiot, idiot,” Akaashi repeated, hitting Bokuto’s chest in an attempt to get him to move. He was crying now. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks. “How can you love someone you’ve only known for a few months? Idiot, idiot!”

Bokuto smiled. Gentle. “I think I’ve always known. I think you have too. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known you, I just know it. I love you.”

Akaashi stopped hitting Bokuto and started sobbing. He had cried in front of Bokuto plenty of times, but not like this. He felt too many emotions at once and he couldn’t do anything. He just let his head fall against Bokuto’s chest.

He let Bokuto wrap his arms around him and he let his own arms wrap around Bokuto’s waist. He fisted the material of Bokuto’s shirt in his fists, holding him close. 

“I want to go out with you. I love you, Akaashi,” Bokuto said one last time.

Akaashi wasn’t sure what this meant, but he didn’t want to think about it too much just yet. He couldn’t say anything still. He just cried and let Bokuto comfort him. It felt good, and for once, he wasn’t really thinking about how things would turn out.

He was just thinking about Bokuto.

That idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapters will just be fluff. I think. pretty much just wrapping things up/fluffy dates and cuteness. maybe some steamy steamy time.

**Author's Note:**

> I live for comments :((( please feel free to write me something :((((((( please


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